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5 entries this month
You gotta be kidding.....18:19 Jun 29 2007
Times Read: 766
What is it with whelps and shadows and such??
Do I look like I need protecting from someone I don't know, that doesn't know me?? I have a group of friends that actually know my first name and knows what is going on in my life....
I don't need some unknown person to protect me. Sorry but being a whelp or shadow, nobody is going to take your seriously. Its an insult to think that you can defend me, or protect me.
I have people on my profile that have proven time and time again how they protect me.
Sorry, but its truly laughable....
F*cking Emotions.16:00 Jun 22 2007
Times Read: 790
Fucking Empathy...Fucking emotions...
What good are they for anyways, if you are going to be torn up inside with every decision that you make.
I made the decision to help a boy in need. I listened and counseled as best I could and some believe i could have done more.
Hard to do more when you are on the phone with someone that attempted suicide. He is in a different country, he doesn't know where he is and you have no idea what to tell the police other than there is someone in need.
Hard to deal with emotions when someone that you love with all your heart. Wonders why you didn't do more? Didn't get more information...."You should have known better than the rest of us." Basically his death with be my fault.
Hard to deal with emotions of Someone that you consider your best friend, shutting down on you for some unknown reason. He doubts you and was angry at you according to his other best frind. But he is acting like nothing is wrong....but I can FEEL that something is. That he is torn about something...not sure who to trust. After all we have been through...he wants to trust the person that has caused him the most heartache in this past year...
FUCKING EMPATHY!!!
Joys of family17:48 Jun 18 2007
Times Read: 804
I’m a proud woman and I hate being beholden to anyone. I am beholden to my parents that came to my rescue when I was kicked out of my own home. They came into said home with a vengeance and took back all that was mine. I am beholden to them for money and emotional support that I will never be able to pay them back for.
I am beholden to my Aunt for taking me in for 5 months, allowing me to live free of charge in her house, while cleaning and taking care of her dog. That was all I could do, because I couldn’t afford to pay to be there.
I am beholden to my Mother for giving me $300 to get to the other side of the country.
And regretfully I am beholden to my Sister in law, for another $300. This is the problem.
In no other situation, did I feel bad about the situation I was in. I felt the love and the support of my Aunt and Mother. But my brother and sister in law are different. Let me explain.
My brother is a Commander in the Navy. He is used to everything being done for him and at home is no different. My sister in law, waits on him hand and foot. Literally!!! I’m sorry but I believe a 39 year old Commander in the Navy can make his own dinner plate and cut his own meat. But she does it for him. But I digress. They have a lot of money and a lot of opinions. $300 isn’t much to them and I agreed to take care of their dogs when they are away. But little by little, more is getting stacked on my plate. Each with the phrase….”well you owe me.”
$300 doesn’t buy a slave. $300 isn’t worth this grief. This morning, as my mom and Sister in law are getting ready to fly to NY, the next day, I get woken up. 6am!!! “Let’s see, “ my sister in law says, “ I want to steam clean that rug before I leave, here is the silver for you to polish. Come upstairs and I will show you how to use the Kirby vacuum cleaner and the rug shampooing attachment so you can clean while I’m gone. Don’t forget to clean the crevices around the speakers and to dust. You might want to clean down here where you are because I have people coming in when I get back and it won’t do for it to smell like dog.”
Let me explain about the Kirby vacuum cleaner. Mom had one and she hated the shampooer on it for simple reason. Time consuming and the chemical used were caustic. The Kirby has about a quart reservoir. So you can do about a 5’ by 5’ section at a time. But get this. The first pass is with the caustic material that leaves a poisonous foam behind. You wait, and then go over it again with water. Then wait and when it finally dries (8 hours later), you vacuum it. This woman is anal retentive when it comes to being a good mom to my 2 year old nephew Jeffery. She doesn’t want to give him anything with nutrasweet in it because of the bad press it had. She refused to think of using Splenda, even though it is being used with diabetics. “Sorry but that stuff is just toxic and will screw him up inside.”
What the hell is this caustic shit you are using on the carpet going to do to him? I suggested getting a rug doctor. It has this wonderful 1 gallon reservoir, allows you to use something like Tide with febreeze to control pet odor. And here is the simply thing. You walk forward and it dispenses the Tide and you walk backwards and it sucks it up and basically dries the carpet. Dry time takes maybe an hour. Cutting down on caustic chemicals that can hurt her child or her dogs…but also, cuts time. I could do the whole house in less than a day. But NOOOOOOOO. “I spent $1500 on this rug shampooer and I am going to use it.”
I am so frustrated right now I can’t see straight. I don’t feel the love here, I feel like I am the poor relation that has come to live. Which I am but to be made to feel like this….just GRRRRRRRRR.
I can’t wait until I get my money from the divorce settlement. I can’t wait to get my own place…
Ratings05:31 Jun 13 2007
Times Read: 827
I always rate people back that rate me. I rate fairly and try not to downrate. If you have one line, guess what you will get a 1. If you have a paragraph, you might get a 5. Yeah i'm vicious but I also have done over 2 dozen profiles on here, so I know when there is effort put in and not.
I was rated a 7 today. I asked for two reasons. I am trying to build a new profile for myself and wanted to know what worked for my profile and I was curious.
On 16:54:47 Jun 12 2007 CHORDEWA wrote:
May I ask, what you found lacking in my profile, for it to be deemed a 7?
On 00:43:08 Jun 13 2007 Tol wrote:
Ah, someone who actually pays attention to their rating and cares *bows*. As for my personal rating system it is fairly complicated- I never rate below a five- five being a very standard page with barely the basics on it (I know my own page isn't worth more then a 5 due to my own incompetency with graphics and computer arts). I start every page with a 9 for trying, if it's disgustingly flashy I mark it down (yours is not), if it has no information I mark it down (yours has information, but nothing that can easily be related to, a lovely story, but nothing that people can find common ground with, it doesn't really SAY anything about yourself), if there's some serious defects in the page I mark it down, I don't know if you realize that your page won't load everything- it comes up with errors.
I save 10's for the crazies who spent way too much time on their page. Yours could have easily fallen into this catagory (and I'm assuming because you have spent so much time on it, is why you're offended) if it weren't with errors and had more ...how shall we say? well, less of a story (an RPG feel) to it, and something more concrete.
I appologize if I have offended, I personally think it's rediculous that to gain status here one must rate other people's pages. I take it too seriously and despise offending, but I could not live with myself in rating something a work of art that I did not feel deserving just for my own gain.
Fix the errors on the page and I would be happy (if it were possible?) to raise you to at least a 9.
On 00:52:19 Jun 13 2007 CHORDEWA wrote:
Although I was a tad offended because I did put alot of thought and work into my profile. (I can help you with yours if you wish) I am not sure where you see an error. If you go to the bottom of my page there is a box that is my personal stuff. Because of my ranking, a downrate doesn't effect me much, but i was asking due to the fact is I am attempting to create a new profile....and wanted to know why you rated me low.
I discovered when you started telling people about yourself on your profile, they would loose interest and rate you low for being "long winded." So, I tried this story. Making up the story about my nickname and added the personal stuff to the bottom. If someone truly wanted to read about me, they could.
No harm, no foul, just wondering. The offer still stands to help you with yours, as I have done a couple dozen on VR now and am familar with the codes.
On 00:43:08 Jun 13 2007 Tol wrote:
I understand now why you tried that method, perhaps you got more votes with that style, perhaps not, you'll have to let me know how that goes. I for one simply need to sit my lazy ass down and teach myself more HTML, I've got basic graphics, but don't know backgrounds and placement. I could use some bordering too to separate sections. If you would add to my knowledge, let me know how to add a background image I would be in your debt.
Also I would like to see the new page when you're done.
She understands why i tried that method???? Wants me to let her know how it works???? Ummmm, been on here over a year and I have a 9.7 profile rating. I do believe that could be considered working quite well for me.
She rated me low because she is obviously on dial up, since my profile doesn't have alot of stuff to load, not like some other profiles, she got frustrated when it didn't load everything. She tells me I have errors on my page....when its simply her dialup. So I get downrated. She also didn't go down to the bottom of my profile, where I have a nice neat box that tells you about me, my personality, my friends, things I like...so on and so forth.
Normally this doesn't bug me. You cant survive on VR without being rated a 1 a time or two. But her condescending attitude is what gets me...
Her Journal Entry:
Ratings
16:50:29 - Jun 12 2007
Times Read: 3
I have decided I despise rating other people here..
I know for myself that if someone gave me a crappy mark on my own page that I'd be furious. Noone realizes the effort we each put into these things. Yet I'm too much of a perfectionist to simply give 10's away. I'd rate my own page a 5 I am so dissatisfied with it, I wish to put in a background, and line up the pictures properly in the least. I have much work I'd love to do to it if only I knew how. I don't think I'm going to rate any more people's profiles, it's just not worth it. I'm too damned critical and I've started pissing people off. I feel bad for giving away a 7, but damn, the page had errors on it. If a page takes me a week to load because it's just so cluttered with that flashy crap, I'll be annoyed for sure and mark it down. If someone has too many happy stars and smiley faces, no matter how amazing the page is, by the time I get to the bottom I'm annoyed and mark it down.
It's a matter of taste and it's rediculous to make people want to rate other people because it increases their own status. You should rate people only when they've asked you to.
Enough of that bullshit.
Go ahead, rate me whatever you choose, but don't blame me for your equipment being lame!!!
Welcome to June
15:59 Jun 05 2007
Times Read: 838
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